Sharing My Internal Monologue
My 2025 project to record and understand what confuses me in life.
I’m not naturally one to relive the past. Moments, even ones I remember feeling strongly about, feel so far from me even just a couple of weeks after they occur.
I remember my senior year of high school after I got into college, I felt more moments of sadness and anxiety than of the happiness and relief a high school senior is expected to feel. I remember in my junior year of college several employees at my part time job got laid off and I went back and forth trying to decide how I wanted to feel about the people who left, the people who made the decision to part with them, and what my part was in between. I remember when I was at NeurIPS last December, I felt unsettled by people’s hyper focus on rapid AI development and lack of regard for day to day problems.
In all of these moments, I remember having a conversation in my head where I distinctly pointed out to myself that I felt confused. But, I like to think that confusion is fun. Confusion means I found an incongruence in my life and the world, likely one that many people experience, and that makes me want to dive deeper and understand why.
So before brain computer interface technology can help me harvest all of my thoughts for my exploration, I want to try this exercise where I write down the things that I repeatedly think about each month. Then, my future self can look back on the things that confused me and discover the thought patterns that make up my mind.
how is this content free?!!!
I 👏 AM 👏 SO 👏 EXCITED 👏 FOR 👏 THIS